Everybody has a story, and stories not only allow people to gain knowledge about you, but also allow them to use your experiences to help them persevere through their own struggles. Sometimes we dwell on the negative things that happen to us, without knowing how much our experiences may have been built into someone else’s survival guide. Something that I have learned over time is that nothing in life that you go through defines you. Every action has a result, but no situation is permanent, and you never know who you may be helping by sharing your story.

Learning to Love Myself 

I would be lying if I said coming to terms with my identity was easy. There are things about myself that I used to wish I could change when I was little. Such as the fact that I am biracial and seen as “less than” by my peers almost daily. It is not only a battle against others, but a battle that I face everyday against myself. I used to feel like I had to tear myself down in order to see what the ignorant people see in me. Like agreeing that my hair was ugly, being called “exotic,” wearing it straight because I received more compliments than when it was curly, and never wearing braids because I felt like it was wrong. I even felt as though I couldn’t openly label myself as bisexual because of what others may think. Like people telling me that bisexuality doesn’t exist and being labeled as gay or straight when I choose to be with a man or woman. Pleasing other people became my top priority and getting myself to believe the negative opinions was only a part of it. This was my biggest adversity. Eventually, as I grew older, I learned that hiding who I am for the sake of pleasing ignorant minds made me just as ignorant as them.

Finding Support Along the Way 

Going on your self-love journey is not easy, but it is needed because sometimes you have to be willing to go through hard times in order to be prepared for better ones. The best piece of advice I have ever received was from a friend who once told me that I needed to learn to rely on others for support a little more. I found support in numerous groups at my high school and even still receive support from mentors that I have grown to cherish along the way. Those people have taught me to love myself for who I am and never let others determine what my truth is. I have learned that support comes in many different forms, but the support that you give yourself is unmatched. The support I received taught me to embrace my curly hair, wear braids if that is what I like, and truly love whoever I would like to. It does not mean being ugly or “exotic,” or accepting the opinions of others; it means feeling truly comfortable in your own skin.

Learning and Growing 

As an 18-year-old freshman in college, I am still learning to love every part of myself. There is so much I have to offer to the world, and I am truly destined for greatness. My message is to never get lost in negativity to the point where you longer feel the need to find your purpose. While I am still learning to love myself, I have grown tremendously and believe that the only opinion that truly matters is my own. My biggest adversity has become my most valuable lesson, and I use it to get through my most important battles. I hope that someone else can use this in their survival guide.