I heard about Equality Day and knew two friends who were going, but I had never written to a representative, emailed, completed any political surveys, or met with a politician before. I only had a high-level awareness of the LGBTQ+ bills being proposed in the legislature, and had convinced myself that I couldn’t do much to counter the current political environment other than vote and be visible. But here was an opportunity to not only be visible, but to to learn about what was happening in Wisconsin and to talk about it with representatives. Still, I hesitated to register until the day before.

I arrived a bit late to Bethel Lutheran Church where the morning sessions were being held. The room was buzzing and crowded with record attendance. We heard from various speakers who outlined proposed LGBTQ+ legislative bills. The unfavorable bills include such things as a trans athlete ban, a trans health care ban for minors, and forced school outing. There are favorable bills as well: Make it easier to change identity documents, provide trans non-discrimination protection, and provide for LGBTQ+ marriage equality. None were expected to become law during this legislative session. However, it was noted future elections may change that.

The educational program continued with breakout sessions where I found, to my relief, that we weren’t expected to do any lobbying for specific bills. In fact, we were told not to. The purpose of meeting with our legislators was to introduce ourselves, tell our story, and open lines of communication. The idea was for legislators to get to know us so that in the future, when we did contact a legislator to advocate, we would be familiar. 

But first, the session leaders mentioned some points to emphasize when we met:

That what legislators hear primarily comes from the conservative evangelicals through lobbying and the media focus on them,

•  That Christianity and other faith traditions are broader than just that segment,
•  That religious freedom doesn’t give anyone the right to impose their faith on others,
•  That religious exemption laws are ripe for abuse.
•  Then we were given time to outline “our story” and practice telling it to someone.

My story in brief:

I am a senior citizen who has had varying degrees of gender dysphoria since childhood. I’ve been closeted all of my life, until May, 2024. No one knew, including my wife who passed away a while ago. I had seriously considered transitioning in my 20s, but it was not possible. If only the atmosphere back then had been more accepting. After my wife passed, I tried staying in the closet. I thought about coming out, but just couldn’t. Then my younger daughter discovered me dressed in women’s clothing. I was in tears. But she was instantly accepting, supportive, and loving, saying, “Come here and give me a hug.” It was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’ve begun transitioning, and it’s going very, very well. I’ve been met with lots of understanding and support from my family, siblings, nieces/nephews, friends, church, and former co-workers, which is a wonderful blessing. Even the Trump supporters and Evangelicals say I need to be who I am and are happy for me. They’ve helped me learn not to pre-judge reactions so much. I’m still in the process of coming out to people, but that is accelerating.

At Equality Day, I was greeted warmly by my state senator, Kristen Alfheim’s staff. I was a little nervous, but she is a Democrat, so I knew she was most likely supportive. As I was led into her office, she came around her desk for introductions and exclaimed, “I know you!” 

“I don’t believe we have ever met,” I replied. 

Then she told me she had seen me in church, helping serve communion. Any nervousness vanished, and we had a great conversation. I told her about me, and she told me about herself. I mentioned groups I was aware of: The Bay Area Council on Gender Diversity in Green Bay, UWGB Pride, and the Rainbow Alliance. She told me about Diverse & Resilient, Fox Valley Pride, and Oshkosh Pride. I departed with a smile, an invitation to visit whenever I’m in Madison, and a promise to keep in touch.

I left the capitol knowing that state representatives want to meet with their constituents, and that establishing a personal connection is important. That even if we disagree, there is still the possibility of a dialogue. That my hesitation in attending the Fair Wisconsin Equality Day event was groundless. And that I’ll be back next time.