In my 30 plus years as a psychotherapist, I have witnessed an ongoing evolution in the processes of searching and finding a clinician. At one time, the norm was to call a landline, leave a message on an answering machine, receive a personal return call from the clinician, and get scheduled into their Daytimer. Paperwork was filled out once you reached the office.

Most people relied on word-of-mouth recommendations, local directories, or referrals from primary care physicians. The options were limited to in-person visits, and the process often felt more stigmatized and less accessible. Today, technological advances—especially in digital communications and artificial intelligence—have transformed how we seek and connect with mental health professionals.

It is quite common today to do all your communication online beforehand, without even having a conversation with the therapist until the appointment. While this may be off-putting to some, I would like to offer some suggestions and considerations in making the process of finding a therapist easier.

Where do you begin?  How can you maximize the selection process in this day and age?

First, have an idea of what it is you would like to work on. What are your specific issues? Do you have day/time preferences for scheduling? Are you open to teletherapy or would you prefer in-office sessions? Maybe a hybrid experience would suit you. Are you going to access your insurance plan? Can you pay out-of-pocket? Do you have an HSA/FSA account you can access?

What kind of therapist would you prefer? 

Male, female, gay, lesbian, non-binary, straight, queer, young, older? Finding an LGBTQ+ friendly or culturally competent therapist was once challenging and often limited to city centers or word-of-mouth. Greater societal awareness and advocacy have led to more directories and professional organizations listing inclusive providers. You can proactively seek therapists who identify as LGBTQ+, are culturally sensitive, or specialize in specific populations.

Ask your friends and colleagues if they’ve had positive experiences with a specific clinician. Because therapy is such a personal event, if they’ve had a positive experience, they’ll probably be happy to give you a referral. They may also give you names to avoid. Remember that what works for one person may not work for another. Look in the local LGBTQ+ media; call local LGBTQ+ support services.

Websites like psychologytoday.com have search features which allow you to input specific criteria (zip code, specialties,  LGBTQ+, insurances they accept, etc). It will then pull up profiles of clinicians and agencies that match. Try Google searches using keywords that fit the parameters you’re looking for. This can also result in finding possible. Today, 90% of my referrals come from my website, Psychology Today, and Google searches.

So, you’ve done research and found possible options that meet your criteria. What’s next?

Reach out to the provider through phone or email. Some clinicians only communicate via email. Be clear how you would like to communicate. Don’t be afraid to ask for a phone call. Are they responsive?  Are they timely? Remember, you are a consumer, and you are buying a service. You are in charge. Be proactive.

-Phone Call Intake

If you do have a phone call, ask questions. Find out about the therapist’s experience and credentialing. Are they licensed? What are their fees, their hours? Are they comfortable working with LGBTQ+ clients? What kind of practical experience do they have working with LGBTQ+ people? Do they have any personal value conflicts regarding LGBTQ+ issues that could keep you from receiving the best treatment possible? As a therapist, it is my ethical and legal obligation to refer clients whom I am not equipped to counsel, or with whom I have a conflict of interest. By asking these questions upfront, you can weed out clinicians who are not appropriate.

-LGBTQ+ Practitioner

If you want a self-identified LGBTQ+ practitioner, don’t be afraid to ask. The clinician may decline to give you an answer, and that is their right. It is also your right as a consumer to keep looking. There are many allied professionals who offer a very positive and beneficial therapeutic experience, but if you want to work with an LGBTQ+  therapist, you can make it happen.

During the initial phone conversation, notice how it feels to talk with your potential therapist. If someone else does their scheduling, ask to speak directly with the clinician. Can you sense a rapport? Are they taking the time to answer your questions? Do you feel comfortable talking to them? Do they seem to feel comfortable talking to you?

-Initial Appointment

Continue to notice these things during your initial appointment. Ask yourself, does the environment feel comfortable? Is your confidentiality being respected? If you don’t want to immediately schedule another, that is okay. If you need to go home and contemplate, trust your gut and do so. You don’t have to purchase a car simply because you take it out for a test drive. It is also okay to test out a few therapists before moving forward.

-Telehealth

If you are engaging in telehealth, the experience can be as fulfilling as sitting in an office, but it will be a different experience. To make the process positive, you might wish to approach it the same way as if you were about to visit the therapist in an office. Make sure you have a private space and that you will not be interrupted while in the video session. Turn off your phone, television, and music. Make sure pets and children are safe in another room. Consider other things that might distract you during an office visit, and clear these from the space you’ll be using for your appointment. The therapist you will be working with should be doing the same. With teletherapy, the clinician must be licensed in the state you are in, as well as in the state where they reside.

Whether you’re doing in-office or teletherapy, ask yourself these questions after the session:

• “Did I feel heard and respected?”
• “How was the emotional connection?”
• “How was the technical connection?” (if teletherapy)
• “Did I feel safe?”
• “Can I envision myself continuing in therapy with this therapist?”

Regardless of style or therapeutic orientation, I believe a primary factor for a successful experience in therapy is safety. When you feel safe, you dig deeper; you go further inside and will work more collaboratively with your clinician. Pay attention to this.

Finding the right therapist is a critical step to your emotional healing. Empower yourself by making a selection that reflects what you want and need. Do your homework; take your time. When you do find it, you will be able to experience the trust, truth, vulnerability, and authenticity that happen between client and therapist.